Embracing Pain and Filling the Void


“The wound is the place where the light enters you.”



I think that there is a script in our society, a kind of rule book that sets the norms for how we should experience and live our lives. Sometimes I feel there is not enough said on this topic of dealing with sadness and pain…however, sometimes there are these movie scripts forced upon us, seeped into our subconscious minds, that make us feel ashamed for not following the status quo. A lot of times we’re told to look away from the pain, our pain and other people’s pain. To stuff it down, forget about it, put a smiley-faced band-aid on it, fake it till you make it, and toughen up. But what does that accomplish? Its a recipe for disaster—its dehumanizing, robotic, and downright toxic for ourselves and the people around us. Contrary to popular belief, detaching from our feelings and emotions is disadvantageous…not a sign of strength. True strength and personal power is embracing our vulnerabilities: taking down that wall of armor that we’ve built up, showing up as our authentic and naked selves, and learning how to love and nurture ourselves in the midst of it all. Even if that means owning the fact that we’re discouraged, homesick, heartbroken, or whatever it may be. 

Since January I have been in this routine of traveling twice a month and also regularly dating while I’m in Madrid. I have really enjoyed both of these things, but now I am at a point where things are slowing down and I have time to reflect and be still. I was dating this amazing guy for a couple months and I completely fell in love with him. Long story short, he wasn’t ready for a relationship, so we stopped seeing each other. I have no regrets about it though because I feel good that I put myself out there with him. I treasure the time we spent together and the lessons in love that I learned from being with him. We still have a lot of respect for each other and I am thankful that he was my first love. I have cried my tears and I trust that everything happens for a reason, but as I come down from this high of constant traveling and dating, I feel a void of emptiness in my heart. Starting over sometimes feels like a daunting task, especially after there has been so much love and so much joy in a certain chapter of our lives…but the sun will come up again. I have a blank slate in front of me and it is time to Create once again. Time to place my energy and attention on my passions and continue to nurture my joy and inner peace. 

One of the greatest lessons I learned from my coach Joaquin is this idea of Creating Space—expanding our hearts to make room for all that arises on our path: the changing tides of feelings, emotions, thoughts, life experiences, the highs and the lows, everything. Only when we hold space and awareness for these things are we able to shed our layers and move forward in peace. Growth is not always a pretty process. It hurts, it stings, it can make you want to scream. But don’t block out these strong emotions because that only adds fire to the flame. Honor it, embrace it, open yourself up to the pain, let it run its course and then you can let it flow through you and pass along. Our emotions come and go like waves in the ocean. We just have to remember to let them go. Its important that we give ourselves the space and time to “bleed out” and heal from the hurt we’re experiencing, but it is equally important that we not let ourselves get consumed by that pain, it is just another wave, that will pass with time and surrendering and letting go. 

Sending you lots of love and I pray that we all learn to feed our joy and find peace amidst it all. 


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