Why do we dehumanize each other?
So I got a Bumble a couple months ago and MY OH MY has that been a portal to a completely new world. It’s honestly been such a deep learning experience for me, but it has come with both joy and pain. I have noticed that too many people treat online dating like its a video game and seem to forget that on the other end of their cell phone is a human being with a beating heart and feelings. Don’t get me wrong, dating should be fun, but its not a game and we should remember to treat others with basic human decency, even if we aren’t interested in moving forward with them romantically.
It is unfortunate that “ghosting” has become the norm and that vague or no communication is rampant in our modern dating era. So what are we to do about this? My man Gandhi says that we must be the change that we wish to see in the world. And so it is. I’ve learned that if someone ghosts me or disrespects me, I simply need to gracefully exit the situation and wish them well. Their poor behavior is a reflection of their character and has nothing to do with my self-worth or character. We can all do ourselves a favor and not put our time or energy into people that don’t value us or support us in our journey in life. The right people will come into our lives and stay. No need to put on a show or perform a circus in order to get someone to like us.
One more thing…if we are to reject someone who we either don’t want to see anymore or don’t have romantic feelings for, tell them. Please don’t be another person who hops on the ghosting train. Even if they aren’t happy with your sentiment, they will appreciate your honesty, if not right away, sometime in the future. And do it with kindness! This is obviously a different situation if you have been abused emotionally or physically by someone, then do what you need to do to protect yourself and get out. But if its just a matter of you not being on the same page as the other person, communicate with them.
After all, this is real life and at the end of things is often when our true colors come out.
Pretty things that excite my soul, but give me nothing in return. Oh how badly I want to give you my heart, but I realize how grand of a mistake that would be since you don’t value me the way I value you.
I like you. I want you. But I’m realizing that I want the idea of you—the hope that you’ll be the right man for me. But you aren’t. I desire Real Love, but all you give me is this fake shit. Give me your all or nothing at all. I’d rather wait for a full meal at the dinner table than settle for these measly crumbs that you leave me.