Burned

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Warning!!! This post contains criticism about modern dating.

Well, I finally know what it feels like to be burned by a guy. There is something fundamentally wrong about the way we date nowadays and this needs to change. I feel like an old toy that was just tossed to the side, like someone surprise attacked me and shoved a knife into my stomach and twisted it around. It stings now because the wound is fresh but I know that I deserve better and I probably dodged a bullet before I went any further with this guy.

Whatever happens when dating, there is no excuse not to be a decent human being. I swear sometimes it’s like some people need to take a class on human decency and respect. Don’t assume you know what the other person wants without checking in with them first. None of us are mind readers and therefore we cannot know the intricate details of what goes on in someone’s head or what they’re feeling in their heart without communicating with them.

I feel like a lot of guys in our culture feel pressured to play it cool around girls, to maintain this façade of masculinity or some crap, but it’s complete baloney and it’s also toxic! Being vulnerable and honestly showing yourself to another person is difficult, yes, but it is the only way to develop a true and meaningful connection with someone. You can run, you can hide, but you also won’t get to enjoy the rewards of vulnerability-genuine human connection. Also, there is nothing sexier than a guy who is honest, emotionally available, and can communicate and express himself and what he wants clearly. Can we please stop playing games with each other and just say what we want to say?

I don’t regret what happened or how I showed up with this guy because I would rather stay true to myself than tip-toe around trying to please everyone. We live and we learn. On to the next one I guess. To all the ladies and guys out there who have been burned, I feel your pain and I salute you. However, there’s a reason why you’re not with that person. It’s hard to believe that when you’ve just been hurt, but good things are coming your way.

4 thoughts on “Burned

  1. Angela Zuidema

    Hola Manders, Take a deep breath and say to yourself “ I am alive and fabulous.” We all go through hurt and painful experiences in life and the first time is usually the hardest emotionally. It is a lesson learn, live and learn moment. You are who you are, embrace the truth about you, most positive vibrations of love 💗. Lovingly yours always, mommy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Courtnee B

    Moments like this may embarrass you a little when you think back to the time you wasted, but really you shouldn’t feel that way. You’re maturing as a person! You’re learning more about yourself and what you want in a partner. Next time it’ll be easier to understand if they are compatible with you or not. You’re a beautiful, smart, and level headed person so I know you’ll bounce back from this. Sending you lots of love!! I’m here for you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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